Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Sugar, Children and Dumbbells

A co-worker brought in some 2lb weights for my when I go walking around work during my break. It's really nice to take exercise breaks instead of lunch breaks. It keeps my energy up for the rest of my day! They began noticing after about the third week that I was walking around my place of employment during my breaks. They have been really encouraging and have gotten the children at my work to start chanting/cheering me on. It's nice to know that people are behind me and in support of what I'm doing. It makes me continue going strong.

I used to be very tired during lunch breaks as I would eat the pizza that's sold around the corner and sit in the lobby falling asleep every day. Some times I would get snacks out of the vending machines (super sugary) or cheaper snacks from my work in high quantities. I have cut down on the bad snacks and only have them once in a while when I feel I need to. I have been bringing my lunch to work every day since I started and it has been great. I eat throughout the day and limit big meals. I get all the nutrients I need and can spread it out to eat when I'm hungry.

On top of all of this today, I read and article on the livestrong website about
children and sugar. The article was tips on how to limit the sugar intake of children so they don't become addicted/have a taste for it later in life. I don't have any children, but they made some excellent points for those that do. By giving children lots of fruits (with natural sugar) and vegetables and allowing them to get a taste for it instead. Children
don't come with a manual, but I wonder what my parents did with my when I was a child. If they allowed me to eat sugary foods or
they gave me natural food. I would assume the former as I'm in this predicament for a reason. *shrugs* Just random thoughts.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Stronger than Before

I know I have mentioned my knee problems in the blog already. The only time they really hurt is at work what I'm sitting down with them bent all day. They feel good when I'm walking or standing. They also don't hurt as much when I get up from sitting. I used to have to push myself up with the assistance of my arms to decrease the pain, but now I can use my legs to get up from a sitting position.

It's nice to feel the transformations in my body. I don't really see much of it or feel it with my clothes yet. I'm sure it will take time for this to happen, but I'm becoming stronger and it feels good. I think about the wrestling competition that's going on in a few days and would love to be a part of it, but I'm just not strong enough yet. I would love for people to be able to vote/gamble on me to win something like that. It's motivation to get up and do more!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Roller Derby Fun!

I joined a roller derby league two years ago and have become one of the original members that have stuck it out for so long. I decided that it was a lot of work for me at my current weight as I wasn't able to get past very basic skills due to a lack of balance, knee strength and a general too heaviness about me. I figured if I continued to attempt it at my weight, I would eventually hurt myself.

We had a scrimmage last night. I was keeping score and watching the girls skate around me. It's a really awesome sport with great people. I haven't lost the dream of skating again or being on this great team of women.

It's hard to be so heavy and uncomfortable enough to disengage myself from something that's very enjoyable. Allowing my weight to come in the way of how I want to live my life is absolutely shitty. I realize what happened every time that I have lost weight and gained it back. I can only use that knowledge now to stay away from those reasons.

I will skate again. I will be a great blocker - knocking chicks down without them knowing what hit 'em. I'm always going to be big and I'm perfectly happy with that - but I'd rather be an "overweight" big with muscles than an "obese" big with fat.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life Changes

This is a process that lasts a lifetime. Should we jump into the process of losing weight and becoming healthy? Or do we ease into it and let it change us over time? I'm not sure if I'm doing enough or if I should be exercising for hours a day as I have in the past. As the old saying goes: slow and steady wins the race, right?

We're not on the Biggest Loser. We don't have trainers at our disposal all day every day. We don't have the opportunity to exercise and learn about what to eat without having to work or have home life getting in the way.

Should more be done on the days when we have time to relax? What benefits our bodies the most? Is it easier to do at home or at a gym?

It's a life change but it's consuming my time and thoughts. I wish it could be a natural thing to exercise and eat right. It would have been nice to start life like that. To eliminate the urges to eat "bad" food and be lazy. It would be nice if there wasn't even bad food invented. There shouldn't be processed food or TV dinners. It should be natural and inexpensive. It's something we need to sustain life, not become obese while others are starving.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Life and Death

My dad's life motto seems to be "Death is Certain, Life is Not". As someone that doesn't want anything to do with death because every time I think of someone close to be dying I break out in tears for hours - it's a very true motto to have. He has it tattooed on his arm with death (a skull or grim reaper - or idk) and I have ideas of getting it on me as well one day.

This doesn't have anything to do with weight loss. It has more to do with physical appearance and death. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside - Farrah Fawcett died and she looked like she was in her 40s (thanks to whatever surgeries she has had, I'm sure). It's how we treat our bodies and take care of our mind that gets us to an old age.

My dad is right - death will come for all of us (and as I say that my eyes swell with tears). But we are all trying to make sure that we live a little longer by getting ourselves healthy - not skinny and the type of pretty we see in movies but truly healthy and happy.

RIP Michael Jackson - your music has touched us all.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

After Work Extravaganza

Well - not really. I made it through my day keeping under my calorie goal. I really didn't want to walk the stairs today. It was another hot one so I decided to wait until after work. Luckily it had rained a little and cooled down the temp right before I wanted to walk. I was very close to skipping it today. I've been consistent and have only missed one day of 30 minute exercise in about a month now. Not too shabby!

Due to the nature of my extracurricular activities, I have free access to a gym/rec center. I'm thinking about adjusting my schedule a little to attempt making it over there on those hot days. I really want to stick to cardio - and thinking I may go during my hour break (1pm-2pm) and possibly after work. That will be within an hour of eating lunch and dinner. My metabolism should be increased while I'm eating or shortly after eating.

When I started this journey an hour of exercise a day didn't seem too out there. It still doesn't. It's just locating the time I want to use for that hour and just doing it. I don't think I'm going to start this new idea and increased daily exercise next week as it's a short work week (and my birthday!). I will start it the 6th of July. I should be able to build up the want within a week.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Down on the Scale

Previous weight: 264lbs
Current weight: 263lbs
Weight lost: 1lb

I'm not feeling bad this week for my 1lb loss. I figure a lifestyle change is happening and it's going to take time to drop the weight. If I was going and exercising for an hour+ a day, it would probably drop faster, but I'm doing what seems reasonable to me right now. I'm gaining the motivation to do more. To raise my time, to vary my exercises, to eat better, etc.

Today I decided that it was WAY too hot to go outside and walk. Even worse than yesterday. I tried something new today. I went up the stairs (3 flights) to the 4th floor, walked around that floor, went down the stairs to the 1st floor (3 flights) and walked around that floor. I repeated this for 45 minutes. I was going to stop at 30 minutes but went the extra 15 minutes today. My heart was racing when I was going up those stairs. It felt good though.

My knees have been hurting a lot for the past, goodness knows how long. I think doing the stairs and bike will help straighten them. Plus, getting the weight off will be a lot of pressure lifted off of them. That's really my only physical limitation/problem that my weight has caused. I don't have any diseases, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol - I'm doing pretty good.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hot - Hot - Hot!

It was waaay too hot outside today to do outdoor activities and learning from an awful night's sleep of tossing and turning, I decided I would do something a little earlier than right before bed. I ended up watching Magnolia and rode the stationary bike for 30 minutes. Maybe it's just the bike or maybe it was me - but it's SO uncomfortable!!! I made it through my 30 minutes because I had to but got a pillow for a cushion so it didn't hurt so much.

Tomorrow's going to be another hot day! I may try to walk up and down the stairs at my work - I know that will get my heart beating, it's air conditioned and there won't be many people around. When it gets a little cooler - I'll head back outside for my walks, but I cannot take the heat.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Late Night Activities

I know it's not recommended to do physical activities (for
exercise) shortly before going to bed - but it's becoming so hot
outside - it's one of the two good times to do them (the other
being the morning and some
times that's not possible).

Tonight I just finished mowing
the lawn. I consider this
physical activity as part of my exercise because it increases my
heart rate and I normally wouldn't have done it at all in the past. I
have recently started to mow family members yards as well to get
up, outside and moving. Nice paid bonus in it as well! :D

I will get up earlier in the morning (5am, eeek) and attempt to do
my half hour exercise. I will have the rest of the day if I decide I
want to do more. I bought some products to clean my motorcycle
with as it's getting a bit dirty so I will make that a goal for my late
night activity tomorrow night as well.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Due to the nature of the holiday typically celebrated today, pictures were brought out and re-discovered. I realized that while talking about these pictures a lot of the conversation consisted of weight by the younger people and memories from the older people involved. I thought about it while we were reminiscing and am very curious why there is such an obsession over weight.

I realize I am overweight - obese even - but I don't want my future children to look back at pictures and end up focusing on peoples weight. The obsession comes when people aren't happy with their weight. There wasn't any talk about health just appearance.

I don't want my children to look back and say their mom was fat and compare to however I may be when I have them. I also don't want them to have to worry about weight. I'm very curious what I ate when I was younger - what happened to get me to this point - what not to do with my children so they don't have to focus on it when we're looking back at pictures. I want to share the memories of the good times and excitement of their childhoods.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

First Day of Nothing

I didn't exercise today. It just went by and I did nothing. It has been over three weeks of exercise every day and today nothing happened that I could even feel good about/feel like exercise. Need to re-evaluate priorities. Need to consciously do things. Need to look at the big picture.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Jumped on the Bandwagon

Alright - well - I did okay at the buffet tonight. My friends and I were having dinner in celebration of an upcoming birthday and I decided to eat a little more than allotted. I didn't do as bad as I would prior to this journey of getting healthy. I had four small pieces of pizza (did not eat the crust), five cheese bread squares (3 small, 2 large), a salad, two glasses of sweet tea (approx. 32 oz), two small cinnamon buns and a small brownie. I ate light the rest of the day.

It all tasted good, it was a really nice time out and I didn't feel bad for it. I'm sure I could be more stern with myself, but some times you end up jumping on the bandwagon. It was with good friends in time of celebration. We also ended up forgoing berry frozen yogurt from Coldstone Creamery. If I wasn't counting calories, I would have felt alright with what I ate, knowing it was still a lot less than I would have ate before - so I'm still feeling that and I'm okay with it.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Won't Get ME

Today was a great day! I took a nice 30 minute medium paced walk and 20 minute fast paced walk. I also planned my food out well for the whole day today (had a late meeting). I came in under my calorie goal AND I didn't feel tempted to eat anything even though I stopped and got fast food for someone else on my way home.

Tomorrow will be interesting - I'm going to a buffet and know that my calories will add up quickly. Going to eat very little in the morning/afternoon in preparation for it. I'm also going to figure out calories before I go there so I know what my limit is going to be. Only time will tell what happens.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Theme Song

- Hiya Piggy!
- Hi Kermie!
- You wanna go exercise?
- Sure, Kermie!
- Let's go!

I'm an obese girl in an overweight world
Fat in limiting, it's disgusting
You can see my rolls, even under clothesss
Muffin top, is my own creation

Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise!

I'm an obese girl in an overweight world
Fat in limiting, it's disgusting
You can see my rolls, even under clothesss
Muffin top, is my own creation

I'm a "big beautiful women" in my only world
Look in a mirror, have regret, I'm your example
You're my champ, jump and spin, feel the tight clothes and restriction
Drop it here, tighten there, slimmin'-down

You can help, you can encourage
If you say I'm going to lose it, oooh whoa

I'm an obese girl in an overweight world
Fat in limiting, it's disgusting
You can see my rolls, even under clothesss
Muffin top, is my own creation

Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, oooh, oooh
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, oooh, oooh

Make me walk, make me pedal, do whatever will help
I can decrease my food, I can increase my moves
Come jump rope, do a lap, let us go for a swim
Hit the gym, hit the floor, let's go exercise

You can help, you can encourage
If you say I'm going to lose it
You can help, you can encourage
If you say I'm going to lose it

Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, oooh, oooh
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, oooh, oooh

I'm an obese girl in an overweight world
Fat in limiting, it's disgusting
You can see my rolls, even under clothesss
Muffin top, is my own creation

I'm an obese girl in an overweight world
Fat in limiting, it's disgusting
You can see my rolls, even under clothesss
Muffin top, is my own creation

Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's go exercise, oooh, oooh
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Piggy, let's eat healthy, oooh, oooh

- Oh, what a life change!
- Well, Piggy, we're just getting started!
- Oh, I love you Kermie!

Watch Out Scale ...

Previous weight: 265lbs
Current weight: 264lbs
Weight lost: 1lb

... here I come ...

Alright - I'm not as triumphant as I would like to be this morning.

I can see why people just quit attempting to lose weight. Logging food and exercise, constantly thinking about it and not getting the results you want at the end of the week. It's disheartening but I realize I need to do more in order to get more out of it.

I'll add 15 minutes of the new/old bike I got at a yard sale recently to my daily walk and hope I will start seeing bigger changes. I'll also NOT eat stupid the night before a weigh-in. Lets see if either of these help.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Late Night Cereal

When there isn't junk in the house, I turn to the junkiest cereal in the house (raisin bran). Luckily I had some extra calories to use up - but it's still not something that I should have done (wayyy too late and too much to be eating after dinner). I guess it could be worse - could have been fast food or cake. :\

Monday, June 15, 2009

Cake of a Test!

Cake of a test - well - kind of. There was some cake leftover at my work from an occasion on Friday. Before I chose to change, I would have gotten a big piece of this cake and eat it all up in one sitting and possibly go back for more. Instead, I took a little piece of each the strawberry and chocolate sections.

I took a bite of the chocolate and it didn't taste moist or yummy like I had hoped. I threw the rest of the chocolate piece away as it 1) didn't taste good and 2) didn't give any type of good fuel to my body. I did enjoy the strawberry piece as it 1) tasted good. I wasn't sure of the calorie content, but I wanted another small piece, so I went back and enjoyed it as well.

By small piece, I mean maybe an inch by 2 inches. Again, I don't know how many calories it REALLY was, but I figured it was probably more than I wanted it to be - so I ate less the rest of the day. The cake was not worth the lowered calories for my other meals as I didn't feel full at dinner as I normally would.

I may have gone over my 1,500 calorie goal today or I may have still been under. I'm not sure because of the cake that wasn't even worth my time. At least I know for the future that a large amount of wasted calories leave me feeling empty.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Fuel for the Body

Today was a test of my body with physical endurance without much fuel. Deciding it was going to be warm the later it got - I wanted to mow some lawns this morning (without eating first - not smart). I made it through the first mow and due to a lack of money and a disgruntled conversation, decided to go straight through to mow the second lawn.

By this time, I was non-functional. The work got done but my body was paying for it. After some deliberation - a pizza was purchased and eaten. I didn't go over my calories for the day - I still stayed under, but that was the only thing I ate today. I feel alright, it didn't do too much damage. I can definitely tell when it's the weekend versus a week day as I stray away from the healthy 6 small meals or 3 small meals and 3 snacks to whatever, whenever.

Staying under my calories and working my body for two hours in a day is generally a good thing, but the fuel needs to go along with the exercise to be more efficient in burning it off.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Lower Calories, Increased Effort

Today I decided that I'm going to lower the amount of calories I consume in a day. I don't NEED to be consuming 1,646 calories a day. I worked with mydailyplate.com weight loss goal and determined the amount of calories I feel comfortable with allowing myself in a day is 1,546 - starting TODAY! In addition, I will stay UNDER my allotted calories.

With the limited amount of resources I have available to me - I am still feeling good about my daily half hour walks. I'm going to keep track of the distance I can complete in a half hour starting TODAY! I'm going to configure my strides on my pedometer I won at a healthy living conference I attended earlier this year.

I am also making the choice to live for myself. I am putting myself at the top of my list to accomplish my goals. I'm not lazy and I'm not going to be just because others around me are choosing that for themselves.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Walking Through Life

As expected, today was a hectic work day. The donut that was put on my car last night was flat this morning (borrowing a car for now). I got the other tire fixed up on my break and still had time to do my half hour walk!

Today I walked quickly and efficiently. I walked my normal route outside around my workplace. It took me five less minutes to do the whole route - so I did more until I reached 30 minutes! I was pleased to see that I am gaining speed now.

Do you ever see children just randomly run? It doesn't matter where they are going - it's just better to run there. *I* want to feel like that. I remember at one point when I was losing weight and getting healthy - I felt like my body wasn't fast enough for how fast I wanted to go - so I jogged instead of walked. I'm back to walking, but I know I will be jogging to destinations as soon as my body will let me. :D

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Flat What?!

Busy work days cause enough annoyance - but a flat tire after working 10.5 hours, a doctors appointment (weighed in at 264 there, woot!), a half hour walk, a 2+ hour meeting and getting home right before 10pm to hear my tire pop and the hissing of air coming out of it, oye!

I have made good eating choices today. I have been keeping track of everything I eat on mydailyplate.com for the past few weeks, since deciding a change was in order. It's a good free site that is easy to use - big fan. I was under my 1,646 allotted calories and burned some off on top of it!

I have a big day tomorrow. It's going to be very busy - time for bed!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Weigh Me In!

Previous weight: 265.5lbs
Current weight: 265lbs
Weight lost: .5lbs

I suppose any loss is a good loss. I have been exercising for a half hour each day for two weeks. I feel good that I'm doing things to create a better life, but I know that I need to do more.

I have decided that I eat certain foods for a variety of three reasons. First, I eat to fuel my body. Second, I eat because it tastes good. Third, I eat because it comforts me. I realize I'm going to eat to fuel my body and because things taste good. I need to NOT eat foods for comfort.

I was looking for a tootsie roll in my bosses candy dish this week. There was only a chocolate toffee chew thing. I decided to go for it - popped it in my mouth, chewed it a couple of times and spit it out. No reason to eat wasted calories if it doesn't even taste good.

I need to learn balance in my world.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Here's how it all started. While dating one of those boyfriends - I was introduced to a life of a pure vegetarian. He made me dinner for our first "date". I was open minded - as I am with most everything. It was a tofu stir-fry and it was delicious!

As our relationship progressed so did the vegetarian teachings. I remember being a kid and only eating the breading off my McDonald's chicken nuggets. I never really ate my moms meatloaf or burgers. I was turned off if my chicken wasn't pure white - veins and whatnot were a deal breaker. Though through this time, I never really realized I was eating animals.

I wish someone would have pointed it out sooner. Told me that it's a pig, cow, chicken, turkey, etc. that I was eating. Showed me the relationship. I was 19-20 once this realization occurred and I haven't eaten meat since. There are multi reasons why I chose this way of life for myself. If you're really curious - you can ask.

I find that being a vegetarian does not equal being healthy. I did get down to a nice 185lbs when we were dating, but life changed and I decided to move on - only to gain A LOT of weight, though still being a vegetarian. This leads up to my current point. I'm still choosing to be a vegetarian as the thought of eating meat sickens me. I'm just now choosing to become a HEALTHY vegetarian again. :D

Monday, June 8, 2009

Miss Piggy No More!

The last time I was called Miss Piggy was back in Middle School. I decided instead of getting sad - I would get angry and use my size to my advantage by threatening to beat the kid up. That was the end of weight teases, at least to my face. Knowing my size could help me, it soon became a positive thing as a pre-pubecent kid.

As I got older, I hit puberty and decided starving myself and working out for 3 hours a day, every day was a great idea. I got down to my lowest weight ever, 165lbs. Speed up through boyfriend after boyfriend, drama after drama and I got to my all-time high this year of 272lbs.

Like any New Year's Resolution, I created this blog to tell the tale of me working towards a better, more accomplished life. After some thought, I decided a better, more accomplished life wasn't going to happen until (as Gandhi put it) I became the change I wished to see. My weight is no longer a positive thing - it has become a hindrance. It's holding me back from being the healthy, happy person I am.

I have begun the steps to Lb-eration!