Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Update of Sorts

I haven't posted in a while. I don't want to go back and re-cap what I ate or how I felt each day. I didn't lose anything a week ago. I stayed at 256lbs. I did lose 1lb last week bringing me to 255lbs. But I'm getting very frustrated. I know losing weight isn't easy. Gaining weight seemed to be a whole lot easier. I'm trying to figure out a way to lose weight but not work extra hard at it. I'm confident in what I'm eating most of the time, but I need to evaluate how much I eat in a day. I need to sit down and decide how many servings of each category is recommended. I need to figure out exactly what a serving of that is and eat enough of it in the day. I realize that fat and protein are going to naturally happen through the day. Protein is in everything. I get way too much during the day when I eat protein rich foods (such as soy products).

I need to become disciplined and treat myself when needed. I need to eat for survival and to discipline my body. I'm not that heavy. I'm not too obese. I CAN jog if I really want to without getting too winded. I CAN push my body harder and do more than just walking around during my lunch time. I am going to switch up my living room today and move my weight bench out to it. I don't care if I have to get rid of my kitchen table to fit everything in that room, damnit.

I haven't been logging my food or exercise either. I may be losing track, but I really don't want to depend on a food and exercise log. I want to depend on myself. I want to make good choices - it's just SO unclear what good choices are anymore! I may see if there's some way to talk to a dietitian. Maybe through work or something. I asked me doctor for a referral, but she told me I would be unable to get it covered by my insurance since I don't have a disease (diabetes or high blood pressure) but obesity is a disease in itself, isn't it?!

Life is just hard right now. I'm uncertain about a lot of things. I have to accept things I don't want to and have the strength to get through it all. I'm sure I'll make it. It's just very hard.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Pizza Day

What a busy day! I helped my mom paint in her house for a couple of hours today, went to a craft circle that had a craft swap and had an event this evening. I ate a yummy boca burger for lunch and fell off the "no fast food" wagon when I had pizza tonight. I really wanted pizza. I may regret it tomorrow, but I made sure I had the calories before I ate it. It wasn't that great, either. I need to re-think my pizza day and try making pizza instead of buying it from a pizza place. It doesn't agree with my tummy some times though. Still doing good with the exercise and calories. Hopefully this weigh-in turns out well and I will have found a balance with my food intake.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

New Month!

Today I went for a walk at a nature preserve in our area with my boyfriend. I convinced him that walking kinda fast was a good idea. He was having a hard time being able to keep it up for too long so we enjoyed the nature around us until we could walk faster. We also went to the farmer's market. It was nice but the produce was kind of expensive. We didn't end up getting anything, but we did enjoy the atmosphere. I also went to my sister's and had some homemade soup in a bread bowl with fresh pineapple for dessert. It was really yummy! Doing well with my food intake again today and getting outside for exercise is great.